Come in your most fabulously chic attire.  Call in for your RSVP now while seats are available.

No, she does not have a grill of serrated teeth. Neither does her mouth does not spew corrosive acid. But when speech escapes her lips, her words can be more beguiling than a pre-election campaign ad. But, fortunately, Carelle only uses her power for good. Well, most of the time, at least.

She is a certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, (www.emotivatingminds.com) an interpersonal communication technique that is used to alter behavior and has been used extensively by dating coaches, self-help gurus and noontime game show hosts worldwide.

In the second part of our interview, Carelle elucidates on how NLP has been re-programmed by seduction specialists for their own nefarious ends.  Thus, my three female readers, read this column and be forewarned” You never know when you encounter that saccharine sweet-talking operator applying NLP techniques on you in that dimly-lit bar (then you can finally bite down on that cyanide pill you’ve kept hidden in the recesses of your gums for situations just like these). And to all the No Girlfriends Since Birth (NGSB), you finally have a chance to try out these NLP techniques while you are young, preferably virile, without a criminal record, and not yet lobotomized,

All that and an imaginary guest appearance by Gary Lising, too.

RADIOACTIVE

For the purposes of improving your ability to improve your dating life and spread your genetic material (hopefully in that order), you can actually harness the power of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) for good? For evil? For the 2010 elections?
For all of the above (Laughs. Diabolically).  The thing is, I always remind tell my clients “With great power comes great responsibility”.  It’s so very Spider-Man.
So learning about NLP is almost like gaining a super-power? I can’t wait to dress with my underwear on the outside of my clothes.
If you are not using NLP for the right purpose, you are using very powerful tools for dangerous reasons.
Ah, but for many a Dirty Old Man (DOM), that is the purpose-driven life.
There was a female client who once asked me, ‘Can I just do this for fun? I want to explore options’.
Options!? What do they mean!? Is this like ordering a value meal? I want boy number 2 with an order of fries!?
She wanted to have more partners. And I said ‘Yes you can, and I also said that I am scared for you.’
I have the phone numbers of some DOMs who can help her understand the meaning of fear.
A lot of DOMs actually come up and ask me how to make women fall in love with them.
I always thought that the gold medallions hanging from their necks served as hypnotic lures.
One woman I coached used NLP for inappropriate purposes.  She wanted to emulate the character of Sharon Stone from Basic Instinct because she wanted a guy to fall in love with her just for fun. As a result, she created a stalker.
Oh that’s not a stalker. That’s just Gary Lising. He stalks anything with genitals opposite to his own. So when you perform NLP on a woman, is it the equivalent of making someone do something against her will? Or it is heavy-handed persuasion?  You must give a lot of seminars to government officials.
NLP re-frames the way that you communicate with a woman so that what you are telling her is not really against her will. For example, a woman doesn’t want to go out with you.
For purely aesthetic and legal reasons.
Try to find the values that she has and wants in a man, and then provide her a unique selling proposition that makes you sound like that you are exactly that man who is in synch with her values.
A unique selling proposition? Like buy one take one? 20% off? Going out of business?
If you can change the way she thinks about you, then she will go out with you. It is manipulation in the sense that you de-construct the way that women believe things so that you get them to do the things that you want to them to do.
Thanks, I was just checking on the behalf of men who wanted the legality of using NLP on women in dimly-lit bars.
Of course, you can always use NLP to pick up women. But as an NLP practitioner, I always advise them that if you are going to exert this much effort on a woman, you might as well use it on someone who is worth it.
You manipulate the one whom you want to truly love you. Got it.

SENSATIONAL

I understand there are three sensory wavelengths that you can use NLP on to influence a woman’s behavior: the visual, the auditory and the kinesthetic. And if you attempt try to influence any of the remaining senses, then you can be subject to arrest.  Now, how do you find out if the girl that you are making ligaw (court) is more susceptible to which sense? Should an NGSB bring a psychiatrist with him on a first date?
It depends on how a woman receives information.  If she is a visually-oriented, she prefers how a man looks, how he is dressed, how he fixes his hair.
Or, ehem, lack thereof.
How can you tell if a woman is visual? She takes care of how she looks, she stands erect, she looks up all the time because she is accessing the part of her brain that is visually-oriented, and she speaks fast. Why? Because she see things in pictures and she wants to paint that picture in a thousand words. They also like to use visual words like “I see”, “I can imagine” or “Oh let me look at that”.
Gary Lising: Oh sure, you can take a peek.  Let me just unzip.
RJ: Tito Gary, please go back the manhole from which you emerged.  We are trying to keep the interview printable. How do you make yourself more attractive to women who are visual aside from costly reconstructive surgery or prosthetics?
You mirror their words. You say “you look nice” or “let me paint you a picture”.
Gary Lising: So auditory women like it if I say “You sound nice, do you want to get harmonious with my musical instruments?”
RJ: Guards, freely use your batutas (nightstick) on that man’s musical instruments. An auditory-oriented woman takes care of how she sounds. These are women who process information better with what they hear.  Unlike the visually-oriented women, auditory women look to the side of down left, they love to talk, they get distracted by irritating sounds, and they are eavesdroppers.
And they have probably have long storied careers in tsimis (gossip) shows.
When they talk they use words like “sounds good” or “sounds right”. These women don’t care too much for good looking men. But, rather, they care for men who can talk to them.
Joe D’Mango must be such a playboy then. Not to say that he is not good looking.
(Laughs) True, true!  They find the tonality of a man’s voice sexy because, for them, it tells a lot about his character.
And if the woman is kinesthetically-oriented, does this mean that me like Gary Lising might not be charged for sexual harassment?
Kinesthetic-oriented women are feelers. They look down right, they speak slow and they are not too expressive with words.  Instead, they like to express themselves with their bodies For example, if you ask Ruffa Mae Quinto about her love life, she will just say  in a sing-songy fashion ‘you know’ and then she will move her body around to express herself.
I don’t think the words that her body uses to express herself can be printed in this column.
If you want to condition a woman to think that you are more lovable, you need to be multi-sensory and high impact.  The more of her senses you engage during a date, the more she will fall in love with you. For example, you need to tell her that she looks good, that she smells good and that are you are eating great food.
I had to choke Gary Lising with his own tongue. He was about to say something related to the gustatory sensation.
By the same token, you also need to look very good, smell very good, and you need to make her laugh the whole night. If you pushed the right buttons, then you will have a high impact on her. She will be absolutely in love with you.
But if those buttons are not yet ready to be pressed, the high impact you might feel is that of her fifty-pound handbag crashing into your groin.

ALA KAZAM

(Disclaimer: To all the men who will read the column beyond this point, please make sure to sign waiver forms, organ donor cards and next of kin documents as you apply these techniques without the benefit of medical insurance.)
What are some of the dark arts, este, NLP techniques that pick up artists have used to seduce women?  Does it involve any magic words?  I know that Shazam didn’t work with my wife.
Some pick up artists use “embedded commands” or “suggestions”.  How does it work?  You touch the woman while you are saying a command.  For example, while you are making conversation with your date about her ‘ideal guy’, you can embed a command by saying ‘ideal guy’ while pointing to yourself.  Meanwhile, while you use phrases like “That tastes great” or “That’s an ideal place” or “You look sexy in that dress”, you touch that person while saying the embedded command. Make the woman anchor on to words like “ideal”, “great” and “sexy”. Finally, when you say “you and me”, touch her again so that she anchors all these words together – “ideal”, “great”, “sexy” and “you and me”.
Let’s hope your date doesn’t figure out what you are doing unless you want your ship to sink with those anchors.
You can also use ‘weasel phrases’. This is when you make a woman imagine or process a scenario in her head by issuing an unobtrusive command.  For example, you say “What if we see a movie?” “What if we go the mall?” What if we go out?” “What if we go out on a Saturday night?” And the person will start to think: what if I am free on a Saturday night?  Then this is followed up by another technique called a presupposition, “Would you rather go out with me now or next week?” That gives them a choice of tomorrow or next week. But you aren’t giving them an option to say no.
Something like: What if you buy “I Do or I Die: RJ Ledesma’s Imaginary Guide to Getting Married and Other Man-made Disasters” now available at National Bookstores and Powerbooks today or tomorrow? I see. Very unobtrusive.  Now, do these NLP techniques work on everyone? On the strong willed? On the weak willed?  On Willie Revillame?
If you are making ligaw, this involves a series of interactions that makes it easier to perform NLP.  Except, of course, if the person is totally appalled by you. This is the reason why you can only attract a woman who is two points higher or lower that you in terms of attractiveness. Studies show that you will find the most attractive person in the room as someone who is closer to you in terms of attractiveness. Why? Because if she is too beautiful for you, you might be crushing on the girl, but that doesn’t mean you want him to be your girlfriend.
If that is the case, I must resemble Piolo Pascual.
But if you are too physically appalling to that woman, you need to make more of an effort to make her fall in love with you.  Perhaps you need a unique selling proposition, like being very, very rich (Laughs). But if you don’t have that unique proposition, then you are far off in terms of attractive points from her. Unless you have a really, really great sense of humor.  But, without that, you really have a very slim chance to make that person fall in love with you.
I must resemble Piolo Pascual with a really, really great sense of humor.

But what makes Ross Jeffries so special, aside from being the subject of global manhunt by several armed womens groups? Because when Ross Jeffries speaks his set of magic words, he becomes so mighty that he is able to put women under his thrall more potently the chief executive is able to do with the ombudsman.

Mentor to seduction strategists, mama’s boys and wanna-be-DOMS worldwide, Ross Jeffries managed to scribble out a book in between bedsheets that has made him a prime target for the Vatican’s hit list: the 1992 book How to Get The Women You Desire Into Bed (not for the faint of heart nor for those who have defective bedsprings) where he detailed his ‘speed seduction’ technique, an aptly named pick up technique as the men who employ this technique need to perform it with haste lest they be arrested, caught by their moms or require life support.  Jeffries’ ‘speed seduction’ is purportedly based on modifications he has made to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).

And since many a DOM on their last breath demanded it, I was able to track down one of the few NLP practitioners in the Philippines, Carelle Mangaliag-Duran of Motivating Minds (www.emotivatingminds.com), to enlighten (although I am not too sure if enlighten is the correct word) us on the claims made by Ross Jeffries’ regarding “Speed Seduction” and NLP.  However, I quite wary that Carelle might put me under her thrall during the course of the interview, I came prepared: I brought my tawas anti-kulam repellant and deodorant, my Department of Health (DOH)-sponsored wooden penis amulet (It’s a long story) and, of course, my yaya. Because, if worse comes to worse, my yaya can always cover my ears when Carelle starts using her magic words.

LOOK INTO MY EYES, YOU’RE GETTING SLEEPY…

How did you get into Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)? Being a politician wasn’t as lucrative a profession as you thought it would be?
(Laughs) I’m a sucker for love!  I started at nineteen when I read ‘How to Make a Man Fall in Love With You’ by Dr. Tracy Cabot. I devoured that book, I applied it when I went out on dates, I broke hearts and I got my heart broken along the way.  When I entered to workforce and got into sales, I picked up some sales books and was shocked to discover that the principles of sales were similar to the principles of falling in love.
I’m glad my wife hasn’t read the sales warranty that my mom tattooed on my derriere.  It expired with my first bald spot.
After reading all these books on sales and NLP, I decided to get myself certified as a master practitioner of NLP in the United States. As an NLP practitioner, you are purposely opportunistic, when I meet somebody and I know that I’ll need that person’s help, I’m going to get it
Don’t try any of that NLP mumbo-jumbo with me now, Carelle. My yaya is an expert at covering my ears. Now tell me about NLP, what exactly is it? Is it hypnosis? Is it magic? Will it help me get rid of my phobias, my psychosomatic illnesses and my annoying toilet habits? Because it if cam do all that, then I might just cease to exist.
(Laughs) It’s really very simple. It’s “neuro” – the brain, “linguistic” – language, and “programming” – how you get conditioned. All of us are ‘formed’ as a result of experiences and of words. We’ve created these meanings for these experiences which turn out to be our ‘programs’. Sometimes, people have the wrong programs – so they have all these phobias and complexes. So these people come up to me and ask if I can ‘fix them up’.
Hmmh, I don’t know if you can still fix the programs on some of those DOMs,  Their operating systems date back to the early prehistoric.  They’ve got phobias of being stomped on by wooly mammoths.
NLP changes the way you create meaning for your experiences. Think of NLP as ‘Lego’.  The NLP practitioner will try to deconstruct your experiences then put it back together in a way that it will mean differently to you.
So you can deconstruct my toilet habits, too?  I have to go to the toilet thirteen times (and each whiz takes about three seconds) before I go to sleep at night (I concur – yaya). You say that can be solved by NLP and not by antibiotics?
(Laughs. With a hint of cruelty) Probably because something happened in your childhood that has became ingrained in you as a belief. So your behavior of going to the banyo is rooted in a belief. And it turned into a compulsion of something that you had to do every single night.  How did this belief come into play?
I think it was because, when I was little, my yaya told me that if I continued to wet my bed, I would slowly lose my hair the older that I got. Yaya lied to me, you know.

PROFESSOR X-FACTOR

I understand that training in NLP can lead to development of the mutant power of telepathy?  Will developing these telepathic powers make me bald as well?
In NLP, we program people with the use of words. How do you get the results you want with the use of words.
I know what you mean. My mom usually gets results that she wants from me when she uses words at me that register at ten thousand decibels.
So, yes, NLP can be manipulative. If you can train the brain, you can manipulate people into thinking the way you want them to think.
Man, our mothers must have PhDs in NLP.
NLP can also be a bit of hypno-therapy – sometimes it’s tantamount to hypnotizing people. When I deliver a talk, I am able to put six thousand people into a trance.
That’s the perfect skill for indoctrination, network marketing and campaigning for an administration candidate.
But not in a gloomy trance, mind you. These people would jump up and down or laugh hysterically during my talk.  That’s all part of being in a trance.
I must have been inadvertently using NLP on my wife. I keep her in a constant state of laughter or else she will realize that she’s married to me.
(Laughs. Knowingly) Absolutely! That’s how I made my husband fall in love with me. He actually called me ‘mambabarang’ (witch) because I used witchcraft to get him to marry me.
Aside from your cape, your broomstick and your eye of newt, I wouldn’t have been able to tell that you were a witch. So what are some of these NLP techniques that we can employ which will not aggravate hair loss?
If you want to make anyone fall in love with you, the first principle of NLP is to establish rapport by studying the micro-behavior of the person. The micro-behaviors of people that indicate that they are interested, these are the micro-behaviors that you copy. For example, if you speak fast, I speak fast. If you speak kikay, I speak more kikay. Why? I customize my way of communication based on how the person would understand me better.
You and Chewbacca would have an interesting conversation.  Or even better, meesa think you and Jarjar Binks.
It’s all about what listening to tonality of the person, observing the physiology of the person and finding out what are the words he is using. I pick on these things and that’s what I throw back to him.
I hope you didn’t pick on his nose.
Another principle of NLP is that of respect. For example, there is a man whom I like but who says that he has a fear of tomatoes. If I want him to like me, then I have to respect his fear of tomatoes.
Those must be mutant killer tomatoes. Genetically modified organisms are evil, I tell ya!
If that’s the case, then I apply another NLP principle: mirroring. You can say, ‘Oh my gawd, you’re scared of tomatoes, so am I!’  I’m sure that, when you are your wife were still dating, and she said ‘I love adobo!’, you would probably say ‘I love adobo, too!’ You have to find the sameness between you.
So something like ‘you’ve got genitals!? Hey, what a coincidence, so do I!’ But what if you don’t really like adobo? So in NLP you can always apply the principle of pambobola?  I was quite an expert with that principle in my bachelorhood.
You can say ‘Adobo! Oh my gawd, that’s sooo interesting, what do you love about adobo?’ If she answers ‘Oh I love salty foods!’, then you can say ‘I love salty foods, too!’
I get it, it’s the classic bait and switch tactic! You’ve trained our government spokespersons very well.
Mirroring also establishes body synchronicity with anybody you are communicating with.  If you want to ‘hook’ a girl, then pick up on and mirror her non-verbal cues. In NLP, we study sensory acuity?  If she folds your arms while talking to you, you should also fold your arms while talking to her in a way that is in synch with her but that does repel her.
You will eventually repel her in your own good time. I understand that there are special listening skills you employ in NLP? Does this listening ability require a hearing aid? This could explain why many DOMs are shoo ins for NLP training.
I don’t listen with my ears alone. I listen with my eyes. I watch you.  You have to be on your toes and pick up on the words that they use. There are other ways to pretend that you are attentively listening. You tilt your head, you furrow my brows, and you nod your head, and you lean forward while they are talking to you. That person can talk for hours on end and he will think that you are listening to him.
My wife’s been playing me the whole time. And I just thought she was as immensely interested as me in the fifty year history of the Legion of Super-Heroes.
If you want someone to fall in love with you, you have to look at them longer.  If you look at a person seventy percent of the time while they are talking to you, you become more attractive to them.  And if you lean forward towards them, you also look more attractive to them. You need to go close enough so that the person can see your pupils dilated, but not close enough that you invade their personal space.
I see, move close enough to see her pupils dilated but far enough that she cannot use any of her extremities to cause you permanent bodily harm, got it.
According to NLP studies, there is also a way to look at a person to make them more attracted to you. If you want to make this person think ‘I want you’ then this is what you do: while looking at their eyes, slowly gaze down at their lips then you look back at their eyes. That’s a very powerful look that says I want you.
I’ve heard about that powerful looks that you see in romantic teleseryes and porn movies. It’s also the look that DOMs get when they are willing to shell out about five thousand pesos and a bottle of Viagra.

But we weren’t alone. Sandwiched between our half-naked, well-sculpted and chest-hairy bodies was a relative of a retired military office known for his escapades into military adventurism. Or, at least, that was what she purported to be as she went by the name Kuhdet Hunasan (really).

However, this is a story Tim and I would rather not get into after signing the confidentiality disclosure agreements that were prerequisites to securing our marriage licenses. Suffice it to say, there are many things that we did on our critically-acclaimed (the MTRCB was very critical of us) cult hit (some of those cults are still hunting for us) Studio 23’s ‘The Men’s Room’ that have prevented us from participating in family reunions over the past several years.

We didn’t know any better at the time. We were both single, ignorant and did things for Art’s sake (Art promised us a seven picture movie deal and an underwear endorsement. Damn you, Art!). My, how things have changed. Now we are both now happily married (Not to each other though). But we still do get the occasional calls from Art for a nude painting session.

Tim and I often get asked (Ok, ok, we like to ask each other) how we managed to marry such drop-dead gorgeous wives without the benefit of pity, gayuma or neuro-linguistic programming.

Since you’ve eliminated all my other options, the only answer I can go with is a sense of humor.

And when it comes to a sense of humor, Tim is king of the comedy cult. During his heather bachelorhood days – Tim used to crack jokes at the comedy clubs that would make women n of all configurations, estrogen levels and extra organs laugh until they choked on their own spittle. And this was before he opened his mouth.

Today, Tim passes on his esoteric knowledge to the Big-Time Bigo sa Pag-Ibig (BTBP) reading this column on how to weaponize your sense of humor in attracting women. Fret not, my BTBP friends, you can finally give your assymetrical forearms a well-deserved respite.

THE BEGINNING OF THE END

RJ: I understand that you gave up a lucrative career as a pole dancer and become a full-time stand-up comedian. Here’s five pesos, tell me a joke.
Tim: (With a turned up nose) The stand-up that I do is not really about telling jokes. They’re not like joke book jokes that start off with ‘Two guys walk into a bar..’ The stand up comedy I do is about telling you stories from my point of view, but it is a story that everybody can relate to. Basically, I think jokes are stories that everyone can relate to where you need to point out the absurdity of what you are saying.
Well, that was five of my hard earned pesos down the drain. So, were you already this good-looking (cough, cough) even before you developed a sense of humor?
To tell you the truth, I was an ugly kid. You know how people go up to your parents and say “Anak mo ba yan (Is that your child)? He is so cute!” When I was a kid, people would go up to my mom and say “Is this kid bothering you?”
Thank God then for advancements in reconstructive surgery.
But seriously, when I was young, I was dark, I was scrawny, I had big ears and I had genitals that were as large as those of a horse’s.
How small do they breed the horses where you come from?
I started discovering the power of humor around high school, which is about the same time that I lost my virginity.
I thought you would keep your homeroom teacher out of this conversation.
What i don’t know though is if I was good-looking first then the sense of humor came after or if the sense of humor made me more attractive.
I think your sense of humor has also given you is an overdeveloped cranium. When did you realize that you had the ability to make people laugh for a living? And not merely because of your appearance?
I was living in the States and working for consulting company when one day I just asked myself ‘what’s my purpose?’ I can’t sing and I don’t have any real talent. Well, aside from being endowed like a horse.
That goes without saying.
I couldn’t do a career in pornography because my parents wouldn’t approve. So I took stock of my other talents. And I noticed that wherever I would go and whomever I would talk to, I could find a commonality between us and I would find a joke in that.
Like a good laugh about your horse parts.
So I thought maybe THAT is my talent! I can relate to people and I can make people laugh! That’s when I decided to try stand up. The first time I performed on stage was back in 1996 in States. It was in a café with a huge audience of four people. Three of them were my friends and the fourth was another comedian waiting his turn. When I got on stage, I though I killed that night. But after reviewing the tape of my stand up routine ten years later, I realized that I was actually bombing.
I didn’t realize that there was a lot of violence in the stand up comedy profession. This elusive sense of humor you posses, is it an innate skill? Or is it practiced? Is it a demon that you need to sacrifice several hundred virgin cows to every full moon?
I knew this guy who started doing with stand up comedy with me who really, really sucked. And I’m not talking about you, RJ. He kept on doing the same jokes over and over again.
Like running jokes about yayas, Dirty Old Men (DOMs), No Girlfriends Since Birth (NGSB) and genitals? Yeah, they suck. Can’t those losers come up with new material?
At that point, I thought you were either born with a sense of humor or you just sucked. But after two years, this guy started getting gigs in the comedy clubs. So I think that there is a part of sense of humor that is innate and another part is skill. The more you tell jokes or you write jokes, the sharper you will get at it. Eventually, you will develop a sixth sense for knowing what’s going to work and what’s not going to work. And this sense gets better over time.
Or you can just stick to jokes about having a yaya at thirty-five. That always gets you a mercy laugh.

MAG-EXERCISE TAYO TUWING UMAGA

What type of exercises can one do to improve his sense of humor to make yourself more attractive to women without being subjected to bodily harm, psychological trauma or threat of lawsuit?
One of the best humor skills that will make you likeable, but not necessarily more attractive –
I’m sure you would be an expert at that.
While talking to a girl, look for that ‘inside joke’ during a conversation. Let’s say she talks about her day and she describes what she was doing while driving her car. While talking about driving her car, she casually makes a motion with her both of her hands as if she is holding on to her steering wheel. Now, remember that motion. Later on in the conversation, when she asks about your day, you can say ‘I was driving’ then repeat that motion of driving a car. She will recognize that you are mimicking her and now you have found a commonality.
So she will think, “Oh he’s so likeable because he is copying me. But he’s not attractive because he’s making fun of me. He’s such a likeable a#$^&*(!”
That’s right. Now you both share an ‘inside joke’ and an intimacy is created because of that ‘moment’. You’ve become more memorable to her and you’ve also you’ve also made her feel more comfortable around you. However, do not make fun or her to the point that you become condescending.
For the DOMs reading this column who are cognitively bereft of the concept of condescension, can you please explain how that works?
Like when you take the girl home at the end of the date. Then before she leaves your car, you wink at her, use your lips to point towards her apartment, then crack this joke “So, how much?”
Imaginary Gary Lising: I didn’t get that joke.
Also, don’t try to be too funny with her all the time. That can get to be pretty annoying.
Really, I don’t think that was possible (It’s possible – RJ’s three alienated female readers and, quite possibly, his desk editor Scott Garceau).
You can also be too offensive with your jokes if you’re not too close to the girl yet. For example, you might lace your conversation with too much sexual innuendo.
Really, like what? ‘Would you like to see the part of my body that led to a guest appearance on Pinoy Records?’
Like asking her “Hey, you wanna (bleep bleep bleep)?” That’s a bit too much (Laughs)
Imaginary Gary Lising: I still didn’t get that joke.
It’s kind of hard to say where to draw the line when you want to be funny with a girl. It’s different with each girl. But unless you are emotional brick wall, I think you can get a sense when the girl is still comfortable, so it’s up to your own judgment.
It’s either you use your judgment or she uses her taser.
Don’t be fooled either by women’s piss poor excuses of why they can’t go out with you. They’ll say anything like “I have a headache” or “I’m your cousin”. Don’t let that stop you.
Don’t let the prospect of having cross-eyed, club-toed offspring stop you from getting a date. Got it.
More importantly, a sense of humor helps you improve your ability to accept rejection.
No wonder so many NGSBs make for great comedians.
You can cope better with rejection if you don’t take things too seriously. Let’s take a previous example: You come up to a woman in a bar and ask her “How much?” If she slaps you, then you can say “I see, so you don’t want cash. How about dinner and a movie first?” But if she answers “Two thousand”, then you have a point of negotiation.
I see now why your facial skin has gained a leather-like consistency.
Another way to use humor is to defuse tension or to use it as an icebreaker. For example, when you run out of things before a date ends, you can say “Do you want to go with me to Victoria Court?” If the woman slaps you, then you say –
Because if I have a discount card?
“Hey wait a minute!? I wanted to take you to Victoria Court because they have good crispy pata!” So you turn it into a joke while at the same time engage in some witty repartee.
I didn’t know that Victoria Court served crispy pata.
And when the woman thinks that you don’t feel too bad that she turned you down, she might feel sorry for you. Then – wouldn’t you know it – you become a tad bit more attractive. You lose that smell of desperation because you are able to joke about the situation.
As opposed to the smells that you usually emit.
Since it’s no big deal that you won’t go out with her, you suddenly turn into “Mr. Mysterious”. She’s thinking “He’s ok with me turning him down?” Then she starts to think about her own self-worth, “Maybe he didn’t really like, why didn’t he get offended!? Maybe he didn’t really like me? Maybe he didn’t really want to take me to Victoria Court!? Now I’m offended!” And when she realizes this, the ball is now in your court.
And with that, an NGSB is one step closer to finding out if they really have good crispy pata in Victoria Court.

DON’T HATE ME BECAUSE I’M BEAUTIFUL

Was there any downside to developing a sense of humor?
Honestly? A lot more guys hated me. They all wanted to be me: the funny guy who gets his unfair share of women. It’s hard to be a funny, attractive guy. All your guy friends end up playing second fiddle to you. It always sucks to be a sidekick. I’m sure you can relate.
I think your sense of humor is starting to make me hate you as well. Finally – to make this five peso interview worth it – does a man’s sense of humor truly increase his sex appeal?
Yes it will. As long as you have money.
Thank you Tim, you are an inspiration for our lawmakers to craft better sexual harassment laws.