And when seventeen-year-old Janina San Miguel, pranced in front of the stage, wide-grinned and cocksure, little did she know that her answer to a seemingly benign question would impale itself into the pop culture landscape, be remixed into a hit song, and cause a shudder to run down the spine of Melanie Marquez. 

Vivienne Tan: The question is, what role did your family play to you as candidate to Binibining Pilipinas?

Janina San Miguel: Well, my family’s role for me is so important b’coz there was..the wa- they’re, they was the one who’s… (the audience starts heckling) very…Hahahaha… Oh I’m so sorry, Ahhmm…My pamily… My family… Oh my God..I’m… Ok, I’m so sorry… I… I told you that I’m so confident…Eto, Ahhmm, Wait… Hahahaha, Ahmmm, Sorry guys because this was really my first pageant ever b’coz I’m only 17 years old and ahahaha I, I did not expect that I came from, I came from one of the tough (presumably the word was “top”) 10. Hmmm, so… but I said that (pronounced as “DAWT”) my family is the most important persons in my life. Thank you.

No, Janina. Thank you.

And, although not too obvious from her swimsuit, this young feisty lady has one set of cojones.  Most women, wait scratch that, most anybody who is jeered by a beauty pageant audience would have most likely turned catatonic, melted into a puddle of goo and needed to be scraped off the stage.  But what does Janina do?  She laughs. Wait, scratch that. She doesn’t just laugh. She cackles.  She cackles at those b#$%^&# in the audience who are heckling her. ‘Your laughter means nothing to me.’ she tells herself, ‘Because I’m not feeling any pressure right now.’

And now?  Janina’s cackling herself all the way to Miss World 2008. 

From a relative standpoint, her answer wasn’t all that bad.  Yes, it won’t win her the Nobel Prize, but it certainly isn’t the worse ever answer that has ever been blurted out by a beauty pageant contestant.

That honor belongs Miss Teen South Carolina 2007 Lauren Caitlin Upton. Lauren is a native English speaker (or so we are led to believe) who has single-handedly managed to massacre the English language, but also common sense along with it. 

Behold her answer to this question:

Judge:  Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the United States on a world map. Who do you think this is?

Lauren: I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq and everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our children.

Miss Lauren, I would like to invite you the Philippines so that you can hone your communication skills with Melanie Marquez.