No, she does not have a grill of serrated teeth. Neither does her mouth does not spew corrosive acid. But when speech escapes her lips, her words can be more beguiling than a pre-election campaign ad. But, fortunately, Carelle only uses her power for good. Well, most of the time, at least.

She is a certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, (www.emotivatingminds.com) an interpersonal communication technique that is used to alter behavior and has been used extensively by dating coaches, self-help gurus and noontime game show hosts worldwide.

In the second part of our interview, Carelle elucidates on how NLP has been re-programmed by seduction specialists for their own nefarious ends.  Thus, my three female readers, read this column and be forewarned” You never know when you encounter that saccharine sweet-talking operator applying NLP techniques on you in that dimly-lit bar (then you can finally bite down on that cyanide pill you’ve kept hidden in the recesses of your gums for situations just like these). And to all the No Girlfriends Since Birth (NGSB), you finally have a chance to try out these NLP techniques while you are young, preferably virile, without a criminal record, and not yet lobotomized,

All that and an imaginary guest appearance by Gary Lising, too.

RADIOACTIVE

For the purposes of improving your ability to improve your dating life and spread your genetic material (hopefully in that order), you can actually harness the power of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) for good? For evil? For the 2010 elections?
For all of the above (Laughs. Diabolically).  The thing is, I always remind tell my clients “With great power comes great responsibility”.  It’s so very Spider-Man.
So learning about NLP is almost like gaining a super-power? I can’t wait to dress with my underwear on the outside of my clothes.
If you are not using NLP for the right purpose, you are using very powerful tools for dangerous reasons.
Ah, but for many a Dirty Old Man (DOM), that is the purpose-driven life.
There was a female client who once asked me, ‘Can I just do this for fun? I want to explore options’.
Options!? What do they mean!? Is this like ordering a value meal? I want boy number 2 with an order of fries!?
She wanted to have more partners. And I said ‘Yes you can, and I also said that I am scared for you.’
I have the phone numbers of some DOMs who can help her understand the meaning of fear.
A lot of DOMs actually come up and ask me how to make women fall in love with them.
I always thought that the gold medallions hanging from their necks served as hypnotic lures.
One woman I coached used NLP for inappropriate purposes.  She wanted to emulate the character of Sharon Stone from Basic Instinct because she wanted a guy to fall in love with her just for fun. As a result, she created a stalker.
Oh that’s not a stalker. That’s just Gary Lising. He stalks anything with genitals opposite to his own. So when you perform NLP on a woman, is it the equivalent of making someone do something against her will? Or it is heavy-handed persuasion?  You must give a lot of seminars to government officials.
NLP re-frames the way that you communicate with a woman so that what you are telling her is not really against her will. For example, a woman doesn’t want to go out with you.
For purely aesthetic and legal reasons.
Try to find the values that she has and wants in a man, and then provide her a unique selling proposition that makes you sound like that you are exactly that man who is in synch with her values.
A unique selling proposition? Like buy one take one? 20% off? Going out of business?
If you can change the way she thinks about you, then she will go out with you. It is manipulation in the sense that you de-construct the way that women believe things so that you get them to do the things that you want to them to do.
Thanks, I was just checking on the behalf of men who wanted the legality of using NLP on women in dimly-lit bars.
Of course, you can always use NLP to pick up women. But as an NLP practitioner, I always advise them that if you are going to exert this much effort on a woman, you might as well use it on someone who is worth it.
You manipulate the one whom you want to truly love you. Got it.

SENSATIONAL

I understand there are three sensory wavelengths that you can use NLP on to influence a woman’s behavior: the visual, the auditory and the kinesthetic. And if you attempt try to influence any of the remaining senses, then you can be subject to arrest.  Now, how do you find out if the girl that you are making ligaw (court) is more susceptible to which sense? Should an NGSB bring a psychiatrist with him on a first date?
It depends on how a woman receives information.  If she is a visually-oriented, she prefers how a man looks, how he is dressed, how he fixes his hair.
Or, ehem, lack thereof.
How can you tell if a woman is visual? She takes care of how she looks, she stands erect, she looks up all the time because she is accessing the part of her brain that is visually-oriented, and she speaks fast. Why? Because she see things in pictures and she wants to paint that picture in a thousand words. They also like to use visual words like “I see”, “I can imagine” or “Oh let me look at that”.
Gary Lising: Oh sure, you can take a peek.  Let me just unzip.
RJ: Tito Gary, please go back the manhole from which you emerged.  We are trying to keep the interview printable. How do you make yourself more attractive to women who are visual aside from costly reconstructive surgery or prosthetics?
You mirror their words. You say “you look nice” or “let me paint you a picture”.
Gary Lising: So auditory women like it if I say “You sound nice, do you want to get harmonious with my musical instruments?”
RJ: Guards, freely use your batutas (nightstick) on that man’s musical instruments. An auditory-oriented woman takes care of how she sounds. These are women who process information better with what they hear.  Unlike the visually-oriented women, auditory women look to the side of down left, they love to talk, they get distracted by irritating sounds, and they are eavesdroppers.
And they have probably have long storied careers in tsimis (gossip) shows.
When they talk they use words like “sounds good” or “sounds right”. These women don’t care too much for good looking men. But, rather, they care for men who can talk to them.
Joe D’Mango must be such a playboy then. Not to say that he is not good looking.
(Laughs) True, true!  They find the tonality of a man’s voice sexy because, for them, it tells a lot about his character.
And if the woman is kinesthetically-oriented, does this mean that me like Gary Lising might not be charged for sexual harassment?
Kinesthetic-oriented women are feelers. They look down right, they speak slow and they are not too expressive with words.  Instead, they like to express themselves with their bodies For example, if you ask Ruffa Mae Quinto about her love life, she will just say  in a sing-songy fashion ‘you know’ and then she will move her body around to express herself.
I don’t think the words that her body uses to express herself can be printed in this column.
If you want to condition a woman to think that you are more lovable, you need to be multi-sensory and high impact.  The more of her senses you engage during a date, the more she will fall in love with you. For example, you need to tell her that she looks good, that she smells good and that are you are eating great food.
I had to choke Gary Lising with his own tongue. He was about to say something related to the gustatory sensation.
By the same token, you also need to look very good, smell very good, and you need to make her laugh the whole night. If you pushed the right buttons, then you will have a high impact on her. She will be absolutely in love with you.
But if those buttons are not yet ready to be pressed, the high impact you might feel is that of her fifty-pound handbag crashing into your groin.

ALA KAZAM

(Disclaimer: To all the men who will read the column beyond this point, please make sure to sign waiver forms, organ donor cards and next of kin documents as you apply these techniques without the benefit of medical insurance.)
What are some of the dark arts, este, NLP techniques that pick up artists have used to seduce women?  Does it involve any magic words?  I know that Shazam didn’t work with my wife.
Some pick up artists use “embedded commands” or “suggestions”.  How does it work?  You touch the woman while you are saying a command.  For example, while you are making conversation with your date about her ‘ideal guy’, you can embed a command by saying ‘ideal guy’ while pointing to yourself.  Meanwhile, while you use phrases like “That tastes great” or “That’s an ideal place” or “You look sexy in that dress”, you touch that person while saying the embedded command. Make the woman anchor on to words like “ideal”, “great” and “sexy”. Finally, when you say “you and me”, touch her again so that she anchors all these words together – “ideal”, “great”, “sexy” and “you and me”.
Let’s hope your date doesn’t figure out what you are doing unless you want your ship to sink with those anchors.
You can also use ‘weasel phrases’. This is when you make a woman imagine or process a scenario in her head by issuing an unobtrusive command.  For example, you say “What if we see a movie?” “What if we go the mall?” What if we go out?” “What if we go out on a Saturday night?” And the person will start to think: what if I am free on a Saturday night?  Then this is followed up by another technique called a presupposition, “Would you rather go out with me now or next week?” That gives them a choice of tomorrow or next week. But you aren’t giving them an option to say no.
Something like: What if you buy “I Do or I Die: RJ Ledesma’s Imaginary Guide to Getting Married and Other Man-made Disasters” now available at National Bookstores and Powerbooks today or tomorrow? I see. Very unobtrusive.  Now, do these NLP techniques work on everyone? On the strong willed? On the weak willed?  On Willie Revillame?
If you are making ligaw, this involves a series of interactions that makes it easier to perform NLP.  Except, of course, if the person is totally appalled by you. This is the reason why you can only attract a woman who is two points higher or lower that you in terms of attractiveness. Studies show that you will find the most attractive person in the room as someone who is closer to you in terms of attractiveness. Why? Because if she is too beautiful for you, you might be crushing on the girl, but that doesn’t mean you want him to be your girlfriend.
If that is the case, I must resemble Piolo Pascual.
But if you are too physically appalling to that woman, you need to make more of an effort to make her fall in love with you.  Perhaps you need a unique selling proposition, like being very, very rich (Laughs). But if you don’t have that unique proposition, then you are far off in terms of attractive points from her. Unless you have a really, really great sense of humor.  But, without that, you really have a very slim chance to make that person fall in love with you.
I must resemble Piolo Pascual with a really, really great sense of humor.

But what makes Ross Jeffries so special, aside from being the subject of global manhunt by several armed womens groups? Because when Ross Jeffries speaks his set of magic words, he becomes so mighty that he is able to put women under his thrall more potently the chief executive is able to do with the ombudsman.

Mentor to seduction strategists, mama’s boys and wanna-be-DOMS worldwide, Ross Jeffries managed to scribble out a book in between bedsheets that has made him a prime target for the Vatican’s hit list: the 1992 book How to Get The Women You Desire Into Bed (not for the faint of heart nor for those who have defective bedsprings) where he detailed his ‘speed seduction’ technique, an aptly named pick up technique as the men who employ this technique need to perform it with haste lest they be arrested, caught by their moms or require life support.  Jeffries’ ‘speed seduction’ is purportedly based on modifications he has made to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).

And since many a DOM on their last breath demanded it, I was able to track down one of the few NLP practitioners in the Philippines, Carelle Mangaliag-Duran of Motivating Minds (www.emotivatingminds.com), to enlighten (although I am not too sure if enlighten is the correct word) us on the claims made by Ross Jeffries’ regarding “Speed Seduction” and NLP.  However, I quite wary that Carelle might put me under her thrall during the course of the interview, I came prepared: I brought my tawas anti-kulam repellant and deodorant, my Department of Health (DOH)-sponsored wooden penis amulet (It’s a long story) and, of course, my yaya. Because, if worse comes to worse, my yaya can always cover my ears when Carelle starts using her magic words.

LOOK INTO MY EYES, YOU’RE GETTING SLEEPY…

How did you get into Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)? Being a politician wasn’t as lucrative a profession as you thought it would be?
(Laughs) I’m a sucker for love!  I started at nineteen when I read ‘How to Make a Man Fall in Love With You’ by Dr. Tracy Cabot. I devoured that book, I applied it when I went out on dates, I broke hearts and I got my heart broken along the way.  When I entered to workforce and got into sales, I picked up some sales books and was shocked to discover that the principles of sales were similar to the principles of falling in love.
I’m glad my wife hasn’t read the sales warranty that my mom tattooed on my derriere.  It expired with my first bald spot.
After reading all these books on sales and NLP, I decided to get myself certified as a master practitioner of NLP in the United States. As an NLP practitioner, you are purposely opportunistic, when I meet somebody and I know that I’ll need that person’s help, I’m going to get it
Don’t try any of that NLP mumbo-jumbo with me now, Carelle. My yaya is an expert at covering my ears. Now tell me about NLP, what exactly is it? Is it hypnosis? Is it magic? Will it help me get rid of my phobias, my psychosomatic illnesses and my annoying toilet habits? Because it if cam do all that, then I might just cease to exist.
(Laughs) It’s really very simple. It’s “neuro” – the brain, “linguistic” – language, and “programming” – how you get conditioned. All of us are ‘formed’ as a result of experiences and of words. We’ve created these meanings for these experiences which turn out to be our ‘programs’. Sometimes, people have the wrong programs – so they have all these phobias and complexes. So these people come up to me and ask if I can ‘fix them up’.
Hmmh, I don’t know if you can still fix the programs on some of those DOMs,  Their operating systems date back to the early prehistoric.  They’ve got phobias of being stomped on by wooly mammoths.
NLP changes the way you create meaning for your experiences. Think of NLP as ‘Lego’.  The NLP practitioner will try to deconstruct your experiences then put it back together in a way that it will mean differently to you.
So you can deconstruct my toilet habits, too?  I have to go to the toilet thirteen times (and each whiz takes about three seconds) before I go to sleep at night (I concur – yaya). You say that can be solved by NLP and not by antibiotics?
(Laughs. With a hint of cruelty) Probably because something happened in your childhood that has became ingrained in you as a belief. So your behavior of going to the banyo is rooted in a belief. And it turned into a compulsion of something that you had to do every single night.  How did this belief come into play?
I think it was because, when I was little, my yaya told me that if I continued to wet my bed, I would slowly lose my hair the older that I got. Yaya lied to me, you know.

PROFESSOR X-FACTOR

I understand that training in NLP can lead to development of the mutant power of telepathy?  Will developing these telepathic powers make me bald as well?
In NLP, we program people with the use of words. How do you get the results you want with the use of words.
I know what you mean. My mom usually gets results that she wants from me when she uses words at me that register at ten thousand decibels.
So, yes, NLP can be manipulative. If you can train the brain, you can manipulate people into thinking the way you want them to think.
Man, our mothers must have PhDs in NLP.
NLP can also be a bit of hypno-therapy – sometimes it’s tantamount to hypnotizing people. When I deliver a talk, I am able to put six thousand people into a trance.
That’s the perfect skill for indoctrination, network marketing and campaigning for an administration candidate.
But not in a gloomy trance, mind you. These people would jump up and down or laugh hysterically during my talk.  That’s all part of being in a trance.
I must have been inadvertently using NLP on my wife. I keep her in a constant state of laughter or else she will realize that she’s married to me.
(Laughs. Knowingly) Absolutely! That’s how I made my husband fall in love with me. He actually called me ‘mambabarang’ (witch) because I used witchcraft to get him to marry me.
Aside from your cape, your broomstick and your eye of newt, I wouldn’t have been able to tell that you were a witch. So what are some of these NLP techniques that we can employ which will not aggravate hair loss?
If you want to make anyone fall in love with you, the first principle of NLP is to establish rapport by studying the micro-behavior of the person. The micro-behaviors of people that indicate that they are interested, these are the micro-behaviors that you copy. For example, if you speak fast, I speak fast. If you speak kikay, I speak more kikay. Why? I customize my way of communication based on how the person would understand me better.
You and Chewbacca would have an interesting conversation.  Or even better, meesa think you and Jarjar Binks.
It’s all about what listening to tonality of the person, observing the physiology of the person and finding out what are the words he is using. I pick on these things and that’s what I throw back to him.
I hope you didn’t pick on his nose.
Another principle of NLP is that of respect. For example, there is a man whom I like but who says that he has a fear of tomatoes. If I want him to like me, then I have to respect his fear of tomatoes.
Those must be mutant killer tomatoes. Genetically modified organisms are evil, I tell ya!
If that’s the case, then I apply another NLP principle: mirroring. You can say, ‘Oh my gawd, you’re scared of tomatoes, so am I!’  I’m sure that, when you are your wife were still dating, and she said ‘I love adobo!’, you would probably say ‘I love adobo, too!’ You have to find the sameness between you.
So something like ‘you’ve got genitals!? Hey, what a coincidence, so do I!’ But what if you don’t really like adobo? So in NLP you can always apply the principle of pambobola?  I was quite an expert with that principle in my bachelorhood.
You can say ‘Adobo! Oh my gawd, that’s sooo interesting, what do you love about adobo?’ If she answers ‘Oh I love salty foods!’, then you can say ‘I love salty foods, too!’
I get it, it’s the classic bait and switch tactic! You’ve trained our government spokespersons very well.
Mirroring also establishes body synchronicity with anybody you are communicating with.  If you want to ‘hook’ a girl, then pick up on and mirror her non-verbal cues. In NLP, we study sensory acuity?  If she folds your arms while talking to you, you should also fold your arms while talking to her in a way that is in synch with her but that does repel her.
You will eventually repel her in your own good time. I understand that there are special listening skills you employ in NLP? Does this listening ability require a hearing aid? This could explain why many DOMs are shoo ins for NLP training.
I don’t listen with my ears alone. I listen with my eyes. I watch you.  You have to be on your toes and pick up on the words that they use. There are other ways to pretend that you are attentively listening. You tilt your head, you furrow my brows, and you nod your head, and you lean forward while they are talking to you. That person can talk for hours on end and he will think that you are listening to him.
My wife’s been playing me the whole time. And I just thought she was as immensely interested as me in the fifty year history of the Legion of Super-Heroes.
If you want someone to fall in love with you, you have to look at them longer.  If you look at a person seventy percent of the time while they are talking to you, you become more attractive to them.  And if you lean forward towards them, you also look more attractive to them. You need to go close enough so that the person can see your pupils dilated, but not close enough that you invade their personal space.
I see, move close enough to see her pupils dilated but far enough that she cannot use any of her extremities to cause you permanent bodily harm, got it.
According to NLP studies, there is also a way to look at a person to make them more attracted to you. If you want to make this person think ‘I want you’ then this is what you do: while looking at their eyes, slowly gaze down at their lips then you look back at their eyes. That’s a very powerful look that says I want you.
I’ve heard about that powerful looks that you see in romantic teleseryes and porn movies. It’s also the look that DOMs get when they are willing to shell out about five thousand pesos and a bottle of Viagra.